BAILE INoLVIDABLE (the unforgettable dance)
23 - the story of love and learning languages
Pensaba que contigo iba a envejecer
En otra vida, en otro mundo podrá ser
En esta solo queda irme un día
Y solamente verte en el atardecer
Si me ven solo y triste, no me hablen
Si me ven solo y triste, soy culpable
La vida es una fiesta que un día termina
Y fuiste tú mi baile inolvidable
(if you don’t speak Spanish, go translate this beauty after the reading the newsletter. I will also attach a link at the bottom. now let’s go.)
almost 3 years ago, on March 25th 2022 at a my best friend’s house party, I met a woman that would change everything. this is her story:
(with a few learnings, of course - it wouldn’t be a Norton’s Green newsletter without it)
she was gorgeous
slim, dressed in all black
big eyes, dark hair barely reaching the shoulders
everyone was looking at her, she was the most beautiful woman at the party - by far.
we would throw these parties frequently so there were regular hot girls who everyone would always ask about
but that night, it was all about her
all about her…
a friend of mine brought her, apparently she was a doctor from Colombia. she’s only been in Germany a couple of months
I remember every part of it like it was yesterday
I tried to speak to her in my non-existent Spanish - hell, everyone tried to speak to her in their non-existing Spanish
Spanish native speakers were hitting on her, my best friend was hitting on her - she was shy and barely said anything, but damn, she was the star of the show
I remember I asked another girl to wingman me - but she totally messed it up
I feel like it wasn’t going well at all, at least not per the scenario where I was into her and she was into me back and we lived happily ever after
but then she left early, I stumbled upon her at the hallway while talking to another girl, and then asked for her number. Hesitantly, but she said yes. Somehow, a week later, we went on a date…
We spent 6 hours together - walking, eating ice cream, and talking - I guess? She did not speak German and I didn’t speak Spanish, so it was rather a lot of learning and a lot of teaching (me being the guinea pig, luckily).
And then more dates, more texts, more Spanish, more feelings, more heartbreaks - more of everything. (I just checked our old convos and lord my Spanish texting was CRiNGE. it was worse - it was KriNGÉ ! )
A lot of things happened - a lot of beautiful, phenomenal memorable things. And also some ugly things too (yes, your boy was bad). But the most and most important thing - why am I telling you this?!
A couple of things (here come the learnings babyyyyy)
1. To go up, you first gotta go down
Yes, she did give me my number and she did go out with me and we did have a beautiful relationship together. But! I had to make a fool of myself at that party, had to simp and go through a heartbreak, had to be fine with speaking a language I did not know, had to be fine with not making Escobar jokes non-stop (who am I lying too, I did them all the time). I don’t want to say that these were the biggest sacrifices ever known to mankind and I had to sell my soul to make it happen, no. But I did have to go out of my way and do something I might not always do. You always have to - and this is my motivation for you. Go talk to that girl, go quit your job, go on that vacation all alone without waiting for all your friends to finally confirm - go do something that feels unnatural, that feels foreign, that makes you tingle a little.
I remember when I was a teenager, about 10 years ago, I would listen to this podcast “Entrepreneurs on Fire” (I just checked and it still exists today lol). And the host of the podcast always kept saying how “all the magic happens outside the comfort zone”. So yeah, nothing new here lol (I am just repeating old truths in this newsletter).
2. You gotta learn Spanish
Or honestly any language.
And I know what you gonna say - oh Norton I hate learning languages, and it is just so SO hard. Well, when was the last time you learned a language? In school or uni maybe? And that’s why you hated it - I’ve been to classes like that recently and I am not sure they are really stimulating, for me it felt like wasting my time. So how do I learn languages?
Duolingo (lol). Actually, always a good start to learn the basics
Listen. Special learning podcasts or just regular podcasts.
Have teachers - on YouTube videos or actually hire someone, like on Verbling. For many languages the hourly rate is very low
Speak with people. As soon as you commit to a language, you’ll be surprised how many people you’ll suddenly meet
The crown advice - have a girlfriend that speaks the language. And I am eternally grateful to mine ❤️ (I mean, an ex now. Still, would never speak Spanish if not thanks to her)
Moving countries is also pretty good btw. I’ve lived in Spain for half a year and it definitely solidified my skills (Thailand next, I am comingggg)
And pick a language that you like, with a culture that you are genuinely interested in. School forced you to learn something that you had no say in, so here is your chanc4 to make that language learning YOURS, with the reasons that are specific to you (like bagging the Latina mamis).
I LITERALLY CANNOT IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT SPANISH NOW. I speak it, I understand it, I understand it in books, songs, and comedy videos, I bag Latinas with it, I literally am a whole new person when speaking Spanish. So yes, go learn this. This or something else. I cannot express how much my life has changed by learning Spanish. PERIOD.
Also, if you wonder how I started writing this newsletter, it is by listening to this song (the one from above). AND THEN THE IDEA FOR NEWSLETTER JUST CAME. Do you realize how powerful Spanish is??? By the way here are the lyrics in English, as promised. Or if you want one my all time favorites, this song is for you (so sensual, so viby).
Now, onto the last point…
3. Grow some f*cking balls
Trust your feelings and act on them. You will get hurt, but you will never regret acting true to yourself. Why is everyone so soft and afraid to simp or be needy? Go get what you freaking want, no matter if you are a guy or girl. Stop playing, go get it. Stop being pathetic honestly (damn Norton you are hard on us today papi).
I got hurt when being with her, a couple of times, but I’ve also gotten so much more out of it. It’s like someone said that kids will make your life 10 times harder but 100 times better - so go ahead and make a f kid. Make 10 of them. Grow some balls.
Hitch the Date Doctor says that one chance is all we get - one look, one date, one kiss. So you better not waste yours (and by that I mean acting on it, and not being terrified to death you fool).
final piece of advice - don’t marry cause you think you are running out of time. marry cause you want to and you think the person is right.
now, onto sleep
forever yours,
Big Sausage Papa
p.s. just as last time, if you reached the end of this newsletter, here is a recent YouTube video of mine on why we can’t fall in love nowadays. check it out: